Here's why we decided to buy Alex Jones

He was cheaper than InfoWars.

Today, The Bupkes is pleased to announce an important addition to its family. Well, not really family because you can’t choose your family and, strangely, we are all here by choice. But definitely family in the sense that every family has a creepy stepdad, or two, whom no one wants to sit next to at Thanksgiving.

Looking around our Thanksgiving table, we realized that The Bupkes mishpocha doesn’t have a creepy stepdad. To remedy this, we went out and bought one. Lucky for us, one happened to be available and at a price we could afford.

That is why the decision to acquire Alex Jones was an easy one. And also because he was cheaper than InfoWars. We’re not made of money like the Onion, after all.

When we say cheap, we really mean cheap. Like, everything-must-go, last-chance, no-offer-is-too-low cheap. They couldn’t give Alex Jones away fast enough. What a steal! At this bargain-basement, open-box, lightly worn, slightly used, may-be-damaged, all-sales-final, t…