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Give thanks: It's Bupkes Friday, you capitalist chazer!

As concerns swirl about the future of American power and place in the world, The Bupkes is pleased to see that America’s greatest contribution to humanity is as enduring as ever. From online to downtown, multinational chains to corner-store pop-ups everywhere dutifully carry out the hallowed tradition of the Running of the Middle-Class American against their own unwitting communities.

Thankfully, what we loosely call civilization has come a long way since the Dark Ages of post-turkey, pre-dawn, limited-time-only, while-supplies-last department store stampedes. Now, we can give thanks for imperial triumph by embracing the superior benefits that triumph has bestowed upon us — shopping from home in our pajamas so the least paid among us become even less visible.

In Tocquevillian spirit, we embrace Black Friday’s Manifest Destiny, as it spreads to all corners of our commercialized consciousness in a blur of Black Week, Black Month, Black Forever deals — imparting its eternal wisdom on us al…