Germany's government collapses

Leave it to Germany to make a three-way as unsexy as possible.

Listen, Olaf. It’s fine you wanted to speak right now about your collapsing government, but did it have to run up so close against Kamala speaking about her collapsed campaign? It’s not healthy to drink whisky this fast.

Nice job dumping Christian. Probably should’ve happened a while ago, but who hasn’t stayed too long in a relationship! Calling him “small-minded,” “egotistic,” not to be trusted and only out for himself; damn, you’re a sexy Schlumpf when you’re angry!

Too bad you’re not single — yet, anyway. The three-way is over, but you still got Habeck in bed. Who knew he still existed? I was sure he got sucked into a heat pump a while back. Let’s see where things stand after the no-confidence vote in January.

Things must be serious to upstage America like this. The Democrats aren’t even cold in the ground yet and here you are distracting everyone with your own democratic distress. Thank goodness though that things are not bad enough to hold up the work of the Bundestag for the rest o…